Hallo.

Hello, internet people.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Oh. That. Yeah, I know I haven't been around lately.
No! It's not you! It's me! Totally me!

The last month has been a blur of new routines, soccer practices, cub scout meetings, neighborhood drama, birthday parties, and whathaveyou.
Basically I've been running around here like a chicken with a bad haircut, and using my new phone to do all of my internet communications. (If anyone knows how to set up blogger to work on the iphone, I can send cookies!)
I didn't realize how long it had been until I got the advertiser notice that it had been 2 weeks since I posted new content.
2 WEEKS. Let's just let that sink in for a moment, shall we? I honestly had no idea - NO. IDEA.
So here we are and I feel like I should offer you a cup of coffee and a danish, and we can sit and kvetch for a bit, except that I really don't have the time this morning.
Tobin is now in preschool 5 mornings a week which is.. yeah, I can't really talk about that, but he is. He's 4 now! And everything he does comes complete with action poses and sound effects and Lots! Of! Exclamation! Points! Everything he does is the MOST - EVER! (Mom! I just jumped the most highest jump ever! Off of the bathroom counter!)
Jack is kicking first grade's arse. He got straight A's on his first ever "letter grade" report card. I just sprouted 3 new gray hairs. (On my chest, most likely.) He earned his "bobcat" rank at cub scouts. He is seven kinds of awesome.
And Milo. He is 1. He is pulling up on everything in sight, and will be walking momentarily. Because everything happens at once, obviously. He naps while I work every day, which means I did something amazing in a past life to deserve a kid so accomodating. He is fully weaned, which - we're not going to talk about that. Because if we talk about the fact that my baby is really pretty much no longer actually a "baby" in technical terms, I will start thinking about how we were pretty sure this would be our last kid, and then I'll be back to where I was whenever the hell I was talking about maybe possibly trying one more time for a girl or just for another baby because BABIES! and I will now pause to take a mental breath because that might be the most disturbing run-on sentence in history and my therapist (if I could still afford one) would totally have something to say about how I go on and on and blab when I'm trying to run over a topic that I really don't want to talk about but fortunately for me my ADD gives me a good exit because -
Hey! Look! Something shiny!
To sum up, I am back... -ish. It's November, which means NaBloPoMo, and obviously I missed day 1 yesterday, so I can't technically participate, but in honor of the month I will attempt to at least get back to posting on a normal basis. Posting regularly will be much easier when I manage to get a new mag charger for my macbook. (I've gone through 2 of them now. Not excellent.) Until then, I will be light on photos and probably heavy on the sarcasm. Which, you know, lowest form of humor and all that, but I go with what I have. Welcome back! You missed me desperately, didn't you? heh.

Moblogging?

The Life List

This list is a living document. It breathes, it grows, and it changes.
Just so you know. The newest additions will always be in blue.
**I'm noticing a trend here; most of my list items have to do with cooking and travel.

100 Things To Do Before I Shuffle Off This Mortal Coil:

1. Stroll along the Avenue des Champs-Elysees in Paris

2. Learn to make authentic pork tamales

3. Learn to ride a Harley

4. Open my Bakery

5. Stand on the Grand Canyon Sky Walk

6. Host a formal dinner party

7. Make a savory entree that includes fresh figs

8. Go to an old-fashioned clambake on the beach

9. Learn to play an entire song on my violin

10. Audition for a play

11. Read in the BlogHer Community Keynote at least once

12. Learn to make blown glass

13. Take a gondola ride with Trip in Venice

14. Attend the Newport, RI, Kite Festival

15. Take the kids to Walt Disney World, FL

16. Have dinner at Citronelle at the Chef's Table

17. Spend an entire afternoon playing outside and getting filthy with the kids.

18. Take a class in French cooking

19. Learn to speak fluent Spanish

20. Take a woodworking class

21. Learn to give my car an oil change

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I Don't Even Know.

Oy.  And Oy again.

When Milo was born, we told ourselves "probably".  Probably this would be our last baby.  3 babies, 3 baby boys, and a whole lotta hell ravaged on my poor body.  2 battles with PPD that were powerful enough to leave us gasping for air and paddling with battle-weary arms for an ever disappearing shoreline.

"We'll give ourselves a year to think it over.  We won't make any decisions until he's a year old."

And that seemed like such a nice, safe, vague time in the future.  We knew it wasn't really vague -- no, it was exactly 365 days.  But we thought maybe by then we'd be able to untangle the web of emotions around it.

The long and the short of it is, I'd be happy with another baby of any gender.... but.  But.  We'd really like to have a girl. Each for different reasons; Trip would have to enumerate his own, though I suspect they would mostly have to do with me.

And me?  My relationships with other women have always been complicated.  When I picture a daughter of mine, I picture a girl like me.. but better.  One who would share my passion for books and art and cooking but not my addiction to junk food.  A daughter who - with a girl child's empathy - would come home at the end of her school day and see that Mommy's had a bad day, and climb in my lap for a snuggle.  

My boys are snugglers, too, mind you.  But they snuggle to make themselves feel better.  I'm okay with that; I know it's my job to make them feel safe and loved when they are scared or upset.  I LOVE that part of the job.  

But some days, I have to admit, I daydream about a daughter.  A little bookworm with red ringlets and big brown eyes who would grow up to be more than a daughter... who would grow up to be a friend.  

Milo celebrated his first birthday last week.  We've made no decisions -- there are no announcements here.  Just me thinking out loud and probably sharing too much.  

Also, I'm totally PMS'ing so.. you know.  Take it all with a grain of salt and please pass the chocolate.

The Life List: An Intro.

Maggie over at MightyGirl is one of my internet heroes.  She can make absolutely anything seem stylish and fab.  She makes just existing look like more fun than a human being should be allowed.

This year she was awesomely (and deservedly) fortunate to have Intel sponsor her to accomplish 10 items from her "Mighty Life List".  You should go read about it here, it rocks.

It has inspired me to start thinking about my own List.  I've never been a great goal setter, but part of this process of facing my fears and becoming a bigger, better person has been learning to do just that.  A list of goals that have no definite time deadline, just "Things I Will Do While I Am Yet Living" appeals to my new desire to be goal-oriented, as well as my incurable need to daydream.

SO! Without further ado...

Happy Birthday, Milo!

Training for the new job, getting the office set up, cleaning out the basement (not at all in that order) and general madness: check.

The insanity continues, but this does not stop the march of time.

Today, my Milo - my rosy, rolly-polly little bugaboo - turns 1 year old.  As always, it's bittersweet. But him? He is ALL sweetness.

Happy Birthday, Little Man.

I've had him for a year.  One unforgettable, joyful, incredibly sleep-deprived year.

It's been a good year, and (as you can see, Miss J!) Milo helps inspire me to rock the lipsticks.  Here you are.  Me. Lipstick. Milo.  A happily matched grouping if ever there was one.  *grin*

Year Without Fear: Challenge Edition!

Ah, year without fear. How easily you have blended into the mundane of the every day.

I declare it shall no longer be so!  

I'm failing miserably on the whole "get in shape" part of my self-challenge.  Not for lack of ANY effort, mind you.  I'll shortly be attempting the Butt Kicking Kill that is P90X.  I've cut back my caloric intake as much as possible while still nursing Milo.  We've begun the weaning process, which deserves a post all its own once I can write it without the weeping and the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments.  Once nursing is complete, I can really get on the Calorie Restriction train. (It's a very slow train.  Sluggish, even.  It runs on very little fuel.)

I'm sorry, where were we, again?

Ah. Yes.  A Year Without Fear.

Well, I decided to open it up for suggestions.  Kinda-sorta.  I'll filter through the suggestions and pick a few challenges to attempt.  I'm not explaining this very well, am I.  

I'm asking for suggestions.  Crazy (but not TOO crazy) adventures for me to try out.  They can't be too expensive (because we're on a limited budget here. So, you know, no skydiving.  Not that I would attempt that, mind you. Did you know life insurance doesn't pay out if you die doing something stupid? Like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane?)

So DE-LURK, my friends, and offer your suggestions.  My brain is tired and I am fresh out of ideas.  Between soccer practice, scouts, school, preschool, and various and sundry other items on the Master Laundry List of daily living, I am going to have to work extra hard to find time for this, but find it I shall.

I've issued myself one challenge already:  Make time to go on our annual pilgrimage to the Maryland Renaissance Festival.  The fearless part? Go In Costume.  And take photos for your mocking pleasure. Huzzah!

Ready: GO!